Transform Your New Years Resolution’s with Dialectical Behavior

The New Year has arrived, and with it, a fresh opportunity to set new intentions, make lasting changes, and become the best version of ourselves. Whether you're aiming to get in shape, cultivate mindfulness, or break a bad habit, the tradition of New Year’s resolutions is alive and well. But as many of us know, resolutions can be easier to make than to keep. But what if you approached your resolutions differently this year? Why not arm yourself with a mental health toolkit designed for sustainability and success? Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) was developed by Dr. Marsha Linehan. DBT blends cognitive-behavioral therapy with mindfulness practices, emotional regulation, and acceptance strategies. It’s proven to be particularly effective for managing intense emotions, improving relationships, and fostering self-awareness—essential tools for following through on any resolution. Here’s how you can use DBT techniques to make this year’s resolutions stick.

Radical Acceptance	Mindfulness	Distress Tolerance
Emotional Regulation	Values-Based Action	Balance Acceptance & Change

1. Radical Acceptance One of the cornerstones of DBT is radical acceptance, which means fully accepting yourself and your situation as they are—WITHOUT JUDGEMENT. It’s a simple concept, but it’s incredibly powerful when it comes to making lasting change. Instead of berating yourself for past failures or beating yourself up over your perceived shortcomings try radical acceptance! In other words, meet yourself with kindness and understanding. So, as you are reading these words, accept where you are right now, whether you’ve already slipped on your resolution or haven’t even gotten started. Rather than feeling ashamed or frustrated, recognize that growth is a process, not a destination. Embrace the fact that setbacks happen, and that they’re not a reflection of your worth or ability to succeed. (Check out Dr. Linehan’s steps to practice radical acceptance from Hope Way.) How to apply it:

• Instead of saying,"I always mess up my resolutions," try, "I’ve struggled in the past, but that doesn’t define me."
• Recognize that resolutions are about progress, not perfection.

2. Mindfulness Mindfulness is a core DBT skill that involves being fully present in the moment. Whether you’re working towards fitness, a new habit, or a career milestone, mindfulness encourages you to tune in to your emotions, thoughts, and behaviors in the here and now. Often, people give up on their resolutions because they either get too caught up in the pressure of achieving them or get distracted by the next "big thing." Mindfulness can help you stay grounded in the small, everyday actions that move you toward your goal, making the journey feel more manageable and enjoyable. How to apply it:

• If you’re trying to exercise more, bring mindfulness into your workout by focusing on how your body feels during each movement.
• There are many mindfulness techniques. Here is a list of options; you can choose one or two strategies to try and see what works for you.

3. Distress Tolerance Change is hard, and setbacks are inevitable. Let’s all acknowledge that we’ve missed plenty of workouts, slipped into an old habit, or got frustrated when things were progressing slower than we hoped. Distress tolerance is like the rumble strip for staying on track. It involves learning how to tolerate discomfort without giving up or resorting to old patterns of behavior. DBT offers a range of distress tolerance techniques to help you navigate tough moments. One technique is the TIPP skill (Temperature, Intense exercise, Paced breathing, and Progressive muscle relaxation), which helps calm intense emotions. When you feel like quitting or giving in to frustration, using one of these methods can help you regulate your emotions and make more thoughtful decisions. Here’s a quick video on implementing TIPP. How to apply it:

•  Practice self-soothing strategies like taking a warm bath, listening to calming music, or going for a walk.
• After applying one of these strategies, think simply about the next right thing you need to do for yourself. Maybe it’s taking a nap, doing the laundry, or calling a friend.

4. Emotional Regulation It’s easy to let emotions derail your progress. If you’re feeling anxious, discouraged, or overwhelmed by the scope of your resolution, you might be tempted to throw in the towel. But you don’t have to do that! DBT’s emotional regulation skills help you recognize and manage your emotions so that they don’t interfere with your long-term goals. For example, if you’re a working parent trying to reduce stress or create a better work-life balance, emotional regulation techniques can help you stay calm and composed, even when life gets chaotic. By learning to manage your emotional responses, you can make more mindful choices that are aligned with your resolutions, rather than acting impulsively based on temporary feelings. How to apply it:

• Use positive self-talk to counter negative thinking (e.g., “I’ve had setbacks before, but that doesn’t mean I can’t succeed”).
• Practice emotion regulation strategies like deep breathing or journaling to express and release difficult emotions. Click here for some helpful journal prompts.

5. Values-Based Action A key principle of DBT is that meaningful change comes when your actions align with your core values. Rather than setting resolutions that feel like obligations or chores, base them on what truly matters to you. When your goals reflect your personal values—health, creativity, spiritual, or connection—you’re more likely to stick with them because they resonate with your sense of purpose. Before committing to a resolution, take time to reflect on your values. What do you truly want to cultivate in your life this year? What changes will bring you closer to the person you want to be? (Here is an optional worksheet to help you brainstorm value-based resolutions). How to apply it:

• Write down your top three values. Now think about how your resolutions can support those values.
• Instead of saying, "I want to lose 10 pounds," you could say, "I want to take better care of my body, because health and vitality are important to me."

6. Create a Balance Between Acceptance and Change One of DBT’s most profound concepts is the synthesis of acceptance and change. It teaches that you don’t have to choose between the two; you can accept who you are and where you are, while still striving for growth. This balance is essential for sustainable change. By accepting yourself and your journey, you give yourself permission to change in a way that feels authentic rather than forced. (Learn more about synthesizing acceptance and change) How to apply it:

• Remind yourself that it’s okay to not be perfect—what matters is that you continue to make choices aligned with your values.
• When you face resistance, ask yourself: What small change can I make today? Sometimes, progress is about taking one step forward, no matter how small.

Final Thoughts: DBT as a Roadmap for Success This year, instead of falling into the trap of “New Year, New Me,” consider using DBT’s practical, evidence-based techniques to stay grounded, calm, and stick to your resolutions. By embracing radical acceptance, practicing mindfulness, and using DBT skills like emotional regulation, distress tolerance, and values-based action, you’ll not only have the tools to set meaningful resolutions—you’ll also have the tools to make them last. So, as you move forward into the new year, take a moment to pause, reflect, and use the skills of DBT to create a year of lasting change that truly aligns with your authentic self. Additional Information about DBT:

• Overview of DBT
• DBT for Kids
• What does a DBT Session Look Like?

To learn more about Cathrina, lease visit her bio page here. If you want to learn more about DBT and how it can help you through many life challenges, please contact info@springtreecounseling.com to schedule an appointment with Cathrina. She is currently open to receive new clients.

Return to Main Blog Page →